Separate But Not Equal For Gay Boy Scouts of America

Randy Stephens Executive Director The Center Orlando GLBT Community Center of Central FloridaJohn Stemberger recognizes the efforts to prevent marriage equality is eroding before his very eyes.   In order to assure self-preservation, and keep his hate group, Florida Family Policy Council, as relevant as possible to keep funds coming in, it was time to dream up a new bogeyman to keep people scared and fearful.

What is his new creation? The Openly Gay Advocate Boy Scout.

Complete with rainbow sash and a twinkle in his eye, this new figment of John’s imagination, this Gay Advocate Boy Scout will be the seducer of your children and husbands.

His new group is ironically called On My Honor and he is waging another hate campaign filled with lies, biasness and distortions; such behavior is anything but honorable. Stemberger pretends that he is ok with gays in the scouts, but just as long as they are quiet about it…..an adolescent version of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  Now he is claiming that if the Boy Scouts adopt a policy that allows gays to be open about who they are, it will “create a wave of boy-on-boy sexual abuse” and that the gay scouts will prey on the straight scouts.

Give me a break.

In Stemberger’s warped mind, every gay person craves after every straight person.  He fails to recognize that gays have been in scouts since its inception, and the fact that they will be able to be upfront about their sexuality, (if they chose to do so) does not mean that they will put aside their morals and exert a behavior reflective of a hedonistic lifestyle.   These are still the same young men who aspire to follow the Scout Law – A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.   Nowhere does is exemplifies the removal of sexual morals nor encourage decadent behavior as communicated by Stembergers bags of lies and distortions.

Now Stemberger has issued the most absurd statement of all.

According to Channel 13 News  he stated: “The very things that gays want is to be equal, but this policy will cause them to be unequal because we’re going to have to figure out how to put them in separate tents, treat them differently because we don’t want there to be inappropriate conduct if they’re open and avowed,”

Separate tents!

Stemberger’s exclamations are very reminiscent of the 1950’s with the “separate but equal” defense of racial immigration.   It is amazing that in 2013 such bigoted mentality is still operating within our community.   Such archaic attitudes have no place in teaching leadership to young adults, regardless of their sex, race, religion, or sexual orientation.  In the latest Washington Post/ABC Poll 63 % favor allowing gays to join the boy Scouts and the majority are also against a ban not allowing gay leaders 56% to 39 %.  Apparently the general public is evolving toward tolerance and acceptance, while the opponents are still in the antiquated mindset of ignorance and bigotry reflected in the 1950’s.

Separate tents …. What’s next?  Pink triangles? Arm bands? Separate camps? I feel the LGBT community has seen this line of thinking before haven’t we?

Survivors’ Guilt

Randy Stephens Executive Director The Center Orlando GLBT Community Center of Central Floridaby Randy Stephens

For the past few months the LGBT community has been celebrating the “evolvement” of the public’s attitudes toward marriage equality. First, the President, followed by numerous Senators and Representatives, followed by the public at large. We are on the cusp of historic moment in LGBT history, one that will be remembered by many generations to follow. And in the midst of such celebration, I have been reflecting on those who will not be here share the joy of a momentous occasion.

Michelangelo Signorile, noted writer and radio show host, recently wrote an article entitled “The First AIDS Generation: Grappling With Why We’re Alive and What It Means. For those of us in our forties and fifties, we are survivors. Trust me, we have the emotional and mental scars to prove it. For many of us AIDS arrived just as we had come out of the closet, or were preparing to enter the free love era of bars, bath houses, and sexual indiscretion. As for myself, I had been trapped in gay depraved zone known as rural Alabama, dreaming of my escape to the big cities where I could finally become an active sexual member of the community. And it was at that moment the bottom fell out (no pun intended). The mysterious “gay cancer” was rampaging throughout the nation, first concentrating on the major gay havens of New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles…later attacking destinations such as Miami/ Ft. Lauderdale, Atlanta, Chicago, and P-Town. I never visited any of those locations until I was in my thirties and AIDS had already reached epidemic status.

Limited involvement did not protect me from the horror that was brought forth by AIDS. Living in Birmingham and Montgomery Alabama I developed a wonderful group of friends and associates. Even in the midst of the nightmare that was surrounding us, we would spend out weekends drinking and partying at gay clubs that stayed open 24 hours. In the back of our minds we always were conscious of the bogeyman called AIDS, but we felt we had escaped its mighty wrath. How wrong we were. Slowly, friends started to become less involved in the social dalliances of pool parties and all night dancing. And then rapidly they began to disappear. We would hear whispers of medical diagnosis for my friends. Ken has lesions on his arm and face….. Michael had gay pneumonia ….. for most of us, we buried our head in the sand, waiting for the fear to pass.

As for me, it started me on a strange trip of both denial and guilt. Like Signorile, I immersed myself into a support role – Providing volunteer legal assistance in wills and estate planning, doing my best to keep an emotional detachment from those making life-ending preparations. Such detachment continued when I moved to Birmingham, acknowledging the community was becoming devastated and disappearing yet trying to deal with the guilt of being a survivor. Eventually, for a quandary of reasons, I left Alabama and relocated in Central Florida. In a way it gave me the luxury of not having to keep up with who was sick or who had died…..Out of sight, out of mind. I withdrew from talking to friends back home because the discussions eventually led to who had passed away since my last phone call.

Guilt. Webster defines it as feeling of culpability for offenses. I define it as running away from reality, later returning with feelings of remorse and culpability. I will never know how many of my friends died alone…..how many had made a request for me to visit but I conveniently did not make such a time-consuming trip back home. One friend in the Florida panhandle was quickly slipping away and I received a phone call that Gerald would like to see me….. I planned to visit but was too late. However, I did make it to the memorial, where his surviving partner Tom gave me a video that Gerald had made for me a year earlier when he was much more lucid. It took me two years to have the balls to watch that video, crying over every second if it. It now remains one of my most valued possessions. It was at this time I became friends with a wonderful person who, like myself, found himself as a survivor in a sea of lost spirits. My friend has a photo of 16 hot, sexy and fun-loving friends, including himself, taken on the beach in South Florida…. They ran the gantlet from Key West to Daytona Beach, leaving a trail of broken hearts throughout the state. Within 3 years from when the photo was taken 11 of the 16 had died and 4 others were in the final stages. My friend remained the only survivor. We have shared our remorse…. Our guilt….. Asking why. We are both grateful to be alive, but what made us special?
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Orlando Gay Parents Social Group Is Looking For You

ORLANDO GAY PARENTS

 In the beginning (or so it seems), TV shows such as Will and Grace showed the single, child-free of life of gay men.  Then movies such as Birdcage or the original La Cage Aux Follies brought children into the storyline.  Now we have gay couples on TV adopting or partnering via a surrogate birth in shows such as Modern Family and The New Normal.  All of the sudden, gay parenting has exploded all across the country and Orlando is no exception.

Over the past year we have had many requests concerning information about a gay parents group.  The Center is excited to include the Orlando Gay Parents group on our website and will provide a list of their events on our calendar.  Their mission statement is simple but wide ranged.   To quote their MS:

We are a gay and lesbian group of parents, expecting parents, and aspiring parents.   Our mission is:

1)     To offer our kids the opportunity to get to know children from similar families

2)     To exchange insight and advice from personal experiences in various situations such as adoption and other legal procedures, pregnancy, and child-rearing.

3)     To provide a social atmosphere for non-traditional families to get together and have fun.

Orlando Gay Parents offer a variety of activates from children’s play dates to parent’s night out.  They are also a good source of information concerning lawyers and adoption agencies. Their group is representative of families from all over Central Florida.

For more information contact the Group Administrator, Bobby-Jo Cameron at rjcameron24@yahoo.com or find them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/orlandogay parents.

‘Til Death Do Us Part…The Battle for a Statewide Domestic-Partnership Registry in Florida

SB 196 Orlando Florida State Legislature Domestic Partner Registry Marriage Equality

“You need to stop lying. I’m not going anywhere, but I really need you to stop lying,” I told Alan, my partner of 11 years, while he sat in a lawn chair in our downtown backyard.

“Would you please just take the dogs and go inside?” was his slurred reply.

It was Easter Sunday, 2012. I had spent the afternoon in Clermont visiting family. When I arrived home, Alan was visibly drunk. His eyes were glazed, and his smile was cocked. He’d been suffering from intense depression and anxiety for a long time, but lately things had been steering toward an abyss.

Still, I didn’t think too much about the exchange. It wasn’t that unusual. I allowed the adrenaline of a drunken squabble to carry me (and the dogs) through the back door and onto a laptop in the back bedroom. I posted a song – a classic Eurythmics antipathy seethe, “Don’t Ask Me Why” – on my Facebook page, anticipating another evening of matrimonial acrimony, soundtracked.

Just as I hit play, at 9:08 p.m., I heard a loud pop, the unmistakable sound of a gunpowder thrust that would change my life forever. The dogs screamed. I jumped up in a panic.

I ran outside to find Alan on his back. His pistol was on the ground about five feet away. There was a gaping hole in his chest. Instinctively, I wrapped my whole body around him, pressing my hand as hard as possible against the wound. Blood rushed through my fingers. I screamed as loud as my constricting throat would allow. Somebody from a neighboring party jumped over my fence and tried to help. I breathed into Alan’s mouth, trying to keep a conversation going all the while.

I could hear him moaning into my ear, but there were no words.

“I love you!” I sobbed. “Please don’t leave me! Please hang on!”

It was only seconds before I had a 911 operator on the phone and the dogs secured. In a few minutes, the police were at my house, yellow crime tape forming a perimeter of doubt. Questions were flying. What happened? Was he breathing? I was pulled out onto the front curb on East Concord Street – left there, listless and on my own, while the paramedics did their best in the backyard. A friend happened to ride by on a scooter; the neighbors came out with bottles of water; the entire Orlando Weekly editorial staff and their respective partners caught wind and began to form a vigil as we awaited the inevitable. I was questioned by an Orlando police officer. My hands were photographed for gunpowder. I was asked to give a statement. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want it to be final.

Also, ironically perhaps, I didn’t want it in the news.

“He was drunk. He’s been sick. He killed himself,” is what I forced out.

“Were you on Orlando’s domestic-partnership registry?” the officer asked.

“No. We hadn’t had the chance.” The registry had only been around for three months.

After three hours, the tape started coming down, and the gurney, with a blanket pulled over Alan’s face, was rolled from the backyard into an ambulance.

Read The Full Story At: http://orlandoweekly.com/news/39-til-death-do-us-part-1.1470451

 

“Families First” Bill Moves Domestic Partnership Forward | Equality Florida

(TALLAHASSEE)  Moments ago the Florida Senate Committee on Children, Families and Elder Affairs passed the “Families First” bill (SB 196).

By a margin of 5 to 4, the Senate committee voted to move closer to creating a statewide domestic partnership registry (DPR) that would provide essential legal protections for unmarried couples including hospital visitation, correctional facility visitation, end of life decision making and burial arrangements.

A majority of Floridians already live in a local community that has a domestic partnership registry. Places like Pinellas County, Volusia County, Orange County, Broward County, Miami-Dade County, Key West, Tampa, Orlando, Gainesville, Tavares, Clearwater and North Miami already have registries. The Families First bill would eliminate the patchwork of policies and allow people to have important legal protections for their family, no matter where they live.

“The bill passed with support from both Democrats and Republicans together with bipartisan sponsorship of the Florida Competitive Workforce Act signals a new day in Florida,” said Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida. “This is a reflection of the change in public opinion favoring legal equality for all Florida couples. Our political leaders are finally listening to the pain inflicted on couples who are treated as legal strangers. And they are listening to the growing voice of business leaders who are calling for statewide protections that will help them attract and retain a diverse workforce.”

Local Domestic Partnership Registries now protect roughly 50% of Florida’s population. The protections are vital especially since the state has a constitutional amendment banning marriage equality.

Senator Sobel has championed this bill and told her fellow committee members “Today we made history.” The bill now moves on to the next committee.

Equality Florida is the largest civil rights organization dedicated to securing full equality for Florida’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

Press Release

For Immediate Release (April 1, 2013)

Contact:  Mallory Wells, Public Policy Director, (407) 617-6682

via “Families First” Bill Moves Domestic Partnership Forward | Equality Florida.

[LETTER] DP Registry v Useless forms | Equality Florida

[LETTER] DP Registry v Useless forms | Equality Florida.

From Mary Meeks, the attorney who testified at the Hillsborough County Commission hearing on Domestic Partner Registries (DPR).

Dear Commissioner Higginbotham,

I direct this letter to you and your 3 colleagues who voted on Wednesday to betray your obligation to care for and represent ALL of your constituents. As you know, I spoke at the Commission hearing on March 20 at the invitation of Commissioner Beckner, as an attorney with extensive experience in drafting “protective documentation” for gay and unmarried couples, who has consulted with numerous Florida municipalities regarding their consideration of a domestic partnership registry. I was specifically asked to advise the Board of my opinion and experiences concerning the very real limitations of the legal documents that you propose as a substitute for the inherent rights granted by a Domestic Partner Registry. I was extremely disappointed that you clearly did not want to hear my comments, and that you once again voted against any consideration of a DPR for Hillsborough County, and instead proceeded with your sham proposal to pass out some forms that are already available, and which will do virtually nothing to provide the protections needed by domestic partners for their families. Your proposal ignores the fact that the very reason that DPRs were designed in the first place is because these forms DO NOT provide the necessary protections to families. Every other city and county that has looked at this issue has reached the same obvious conclusion. I could tell you story after story of couples who have executed these forms, who have still been denied the right to be together and make decisions for each other in times of medical crisis. A DPR would fix that -giving people forms they have already executed will not. What do you say to those people? Why don’t they matter to you? 

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Urge Congress to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).

Support the Petition to end ENDAThe Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) would prohibit employment discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. There is currently no federal law protecting individuals from job discrimination based on actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. This means that at any time, someone can be discriminated against, fired or not hired simply because he/she is or is perceived to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

Currently, several states offer protection based on sexual orientation and gender identity. ENDA would ensure this type of protection across the entire country to all citizens of the United States.

To Sign the Petition:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/urge-congress-pass-employment-non-discrimination-act-enda/5Xrk0J1G

Support the Petition to end ENDA

Volunteer Opportunity – Operations Coordinator

CenterLogoThe Center Orlando has multiple positions for volunteers available throughout the year.  We are currently seeking someone who can dedicate a few days a week to assist the Executive Director as Coordinator of our Operations.  The position is as follows:

 

 

 

Minimum Requirements to Volunteer

  • Must be 18 or older.
  • Bilingual (English/Spanish) preferred
  • Excellent verbal and written communication skills, including strong interpersonal and organization skills
  • Strong computer skills and knowledge including MS Word, Outlook, Excel, and other software
  • Must be able to maintain and update client database and contact system
  • Demonstrate ability to work effectively with men and women of diverse races, ethnicities, ages, and sexual orientations in a multicultural environment.
  • Able to work in a high-volume fast pace environment with minimal supervision

Operation Coordinator Responsibilities

  • Maintains facilities by planning space allocations, layouts, and floor moves; arranging for and supervising maintenance activities.
  • Maintains records by following procedures for retention, protection, retrieval, transfer and disposal of records.
  • Maintains equipment by following equipment procurement and maintenance processes; evaluating products, service, and warranties.
  • Maintains building services by identifying, and monitoring vendors used at the Center.
  • Accomplishes project results by communicating and coordinating requirements to the Executive Director; bringing projects to completion; evaluating milestone accomplishments; and evaluating optional courses of action for recommendation to the Executive Director.
  • Prepares reports by collecting, analyzing, and summarizing operational data and trends.
  • Enhances reputation of the Center by accepting ownership for accomplishing new and different requests; exploring opportunities to add value to job accomplishments.

Our Thoughts and Prayers For Those Lost Today at Sandy Hook Elementary School

Sandy Hook School Half Mast Flags

The Center Orlando staff and members are very sad to have to write this message today.  On behalf of the entire Orlando community, we are one with Newtown, Connecticut today as you suffer this tragic loss of life.

We offer you our prayers, our thoughts, and our condolences for the violence that has been enacted upon you; no one ever deserves to suffer this type of loss, let alone in this terrible way.  There are no words we can use to express how deeply sorrowful the entire nation is at this act of violence and extremism.  We hope only that one day we can look back at this moment as one where the whole United States comes together to help you mourn, to help support, and to help you remember your loved ones lost.

With our absolute deepest regrets,

The Center Orlando

The David Bohnett Foundation Upgrades The Center’s Cyber Center

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The David Bohnett Foundation has graciously donated 6 new Lenovo All-In-One computers to the Center Orlando to upgrade our Cyber Center!  These new machines are phenomenal and are available immediately for all Center members to utilize for your computing needs. [Read more...]